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Selamat Datang ke Kedai Buku Hyunam-Dong

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Santai. Itu perasaan saya sepanjang membaca buku Selamat Datang ke Kedai Buku Hyunam-dong. Sambil dalam kepala membayangkan scenery pinggir bandar seperti dalam drama Korea. Vibes daripada drama-drama slice of life menjadi mood peneman pembacaan. Konflik, pasti ada. Yeong Ju, meninggalkan sistem (bekerja makan gaji) dan menunaikan impian waktu kecilnya untuk membuka sebuah kedai buku. Bunyi macam the ultimate dream kan? Tapi nak sampai ke situ, dia kena menghadap banyak soalan yang jawapan hanya akan ditemui dengan meneruskan jalan yang dia pilih. Jalan yang dia pilih, bukanlah bermaksud tak ada cabaran, kan? And I think one of the reason Yeong Ju boleh menguruskna kedai itu dengan baik adalah kerana dia sendiri dahulunya adalah pekerja yang baik dan perform. Orang yang malas dan tak ada etika kerja yang baik, buatlah impian macam mana pun, tak mungkin akan progress dengan jayanya. Minjun  Putus asa. Apa saja yang Minjun tak buat dalam checklist untuk mendapatkan kerja...tapi ent...
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Tentang Menjadi Penerima Vaksin Terawal

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 Dua bulan sebagai petugas vaksin fasa pertama. Secara automatik juga kami jadi antara penerima vaksin yang terawal. Program kebangsaan bermula pada 25 februari 2021, kami terima dos pertama pada 26 februari. Waktu itu tak ada siapa pun yang boleh dirujuk melainkan helaian-helaian artikel dan kertas kerja daripada luar. Bukannya boleh nak hello hello pak menteri tanya ada side effect ke tidak pun kan sehari selepas mereka terima vaksin. Nak kata tak skeptikal tu tipulah. Rata-rata petugas kesihatan masa itu mengambil langkah untuk...tengoklah dulu, biarlah orang lain ambil dulu, tengok macam mana. Saya ada terfikir macam tu juga, tapi bila fikir lagi dan selam lebih dalam—its okay untuk orang lain pergi dulu, tapi bukan diri kita sendiri?  Macam tak berapa kena. Kan? Dos 1:  kesan tak terasa sangat. Cuma sedikit letih. Pada hari yang sama juga arwah atuk meninggal dunia, maka dalam keadaan yang rushing nak balik kampung dengan adrenaline rush, tak terasa sangat side effec...
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Little Steps #7

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 The whole admission and preoperative assessment was uneventful. I got a room shared with a middle aged patient who was scheduled for a laparotomy TAHBSO on the same day as me.  I think the thing that I dreaded most was the spinal anesthesia administration. Me and pain did not go well hand in hand. Thousands of thoughts were spiraling in my mind.  But alhamdulillah, I did not even have the time to worry about that on the table. I was sedated nicely before they proceed for spinal. Only once or twice I was awaken during the procedure, and since I could not feel only Allah knows what they were doing down there, I drifted back into slumber. A little more alert when they have finished closing my abdomen and Dr I showed me the sample in the fluid filled jar. It was quite huge, I was surprised of the size. It was different seeing it in the ultrasound and looking at the gross specimen. Photo by Jackie Hutchinson on Unsplash I could not feel or move my lower limbs during the obse...
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Little Steps #6

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Walaupun kami seolah-olah dah bulat hati dengan keputusan untuk mengikut nasihat Dr I, tapi biasalah akan ada sedikit rasa atau lintasan keraguan yang menyapa hati. Antara sebabnya - ada orang lain yang ada condition yang sama, tapi tidak perlu melalui pembedahan apapun sepanjang mengandung. Tiada apa-apa yang terjadi sehinggalah  mereka melahirkan.  Namun berbalik kepada post sebelum ini, kita dah istikharah dan kita dah dapat jawapan daripada Tuhan. Adakah akal dan pertimbangan kita lebih tinggi daripada jawapan istikharah tersebut? Dan solusi untuk setiap keadaan yang sama dalam setiap orang adalah berbeza. Bagi A, mungkin tidak perlu bedah itu adalah yang terbaik untuk beliau, namun tidak semestinya untuk B. Untuk B, sekiranya ambil keputusan tidak bedah - cyst itu akan terbelit atau terpecah di masa hadapan, yang boleh beri lebih mudarat kepada bayi dalam kandungan.  Dan untuk C pula - setelah bedah juga ada komplikasi kehilangan kandungan - pun boleh jadi juga....
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Little Steps #5

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 After few days, no more fresh blood, only spotting/staining. Went for GH TCA. US scan beforehand, alhamdulillah masih ada fetal heart lagi. And everything looks okay. Kali ni tak berpeluang jumpa Dr M, dapat jumpa MO saja. Review result darah pun okey sahaja alhamdulillah. Tumour markers pun normal. Cyst tu pun - tak ada solution kalau di GH. Dia kurangkan dos Duphaston dan kata boleh naik kerja next week. Tapi rasa tak sedap hati.  Singgah department sekejap. Tak apalah, kalau dia tak bagi MC, kita sambung sajalah dengan cuti sendiri. And hopefully the staining stops by the end of next week. Mujur kawan-kawan dan bosses sangat supportive. The next week tu actually ada dua appointments. Satu kat Klinik Desa nak buka buku pink, satu lagi TCA di private. Masa nurse tanya nak sambung TCA kat private ke dah macam berbelah bahagi. Mungkin sambung kat GH je kut, saya balas. But 2 days later something happened. Hari itu patut ke KD sekali lagi sebab nak ambil darah. Tapi Subuh itu, ...
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Little Steps #4

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 Around my 10th week. It was on a Monday. I woke up in the morning as usual, getting ready to go to work.  As soon as I stepped into the bathroom in the darkness (I don't usually switch on the light), I felt something came out between my legs, splashed on the floor. Since it was dark I could not see what it was. I took few steps back and switched on the light. Imagine the feeling of seeing a blob of bright red blood on the floor, with sudden realization that there were blood trickling down my thighs. Macam dalam drama, sungguh.  My mind went blank for few moments. Did I lost the baby?  The only thing that made me a little bit calm was that I did not have any abdominal pain. I've experienced expelling product of conception before and it was painful. But I did not feel any pain.  So I washed myself. Performed by Subuh prayer. Let out my fears and worries to Allah. And then I told my husband. He was speechless and lagi tak tahu nak buat apa.  I texted my O...
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Little Steps #3

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Blood BhCG levels 48 hours apart - taken.  During those 3 days, we only told our Ayah about the situation - but he was calm about it and reassured us that everything will be alright.  The awaited day has come. It was around 2 days before the 1st Syawal.  I was working on that day but had taken permission to leave the department for a while. H took Grab to my hospital and drove to our ObGyn. We had to wait a bit before meeting the doctor. It was quite nerve wrecking.  Alhamdulillah the second BhCG levels raised more than twice the value of the 1st reading. And alhamdulillah the fetal heart pick up its rate around 130-140 bpm. Photo by Ken Cheung on Unsplash It was a huge relief for both of us. Although belum tentu lagi outcome akhirnya macam mana, tapi for the time being, our heart is settled...a bit. The next appointment is for another month. I needed to continue the Duphaston tablets, and to set an appointment with GH ObGyn to discuss about my huge right ovarian cy...
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