Well Past High Time - A Reflection





The story of Al Fudayl Ibn Iyadh's Well Past High Time was really short (only 2 and a half pages), but has filled me with myriad of feelings. It was the oppositeness of his character and actions that intrigued me.

He was a bandit leader
Yet he did not miss even the supererogatory prayers

He raid the traveling caravans
But he fasted from day break to day end

He robbed people of their wealth
But he kept his promise when people placed their faith in him.

So contradicting right?
But aren't we all like that too, each with a different degree?

Take #1: Always have good opinion on God
Al Fudayl was sitting alone in his tent when one of the caravan members his gang was supposed to rob left him with a bag of gold for safekeeping (not knowing that the pious looking man was the king of bandit, of course). After the caravan was raid, the man returned to Al Fudayl's tent, only to discover that he was the thief leader.

But Al Fudayl returned the bag of gold to the man without taking anything, much to the dismay of his team. Al Fudayl said:

"This man had good opinion of me, and I have always had a good opinion on God and the hopes that He will one day accept my repentance. I justified the traveler's good opinion of me so that God might justify my good opinion of Him."
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Allah is what we think of Him.
Allah is angry vs Allah will forgive me, depending on how we perceive Him, that is how we would feel towards Him. Al Fudayl never once thought that Allah will not forgive him. He only knows that one day he will repent and Allah will accept his repentance.

Take #2: We are humans and humans err
Al Fudayl was asked by a traveler,
"How can you fast and pray and at the same time rob and murder Muslims?"

To which he quoted verse 102 from surah at-Taubah,

"And [there are] others who have acknowledged their sins. They had mixed a righteous deed with another that was bad. Perhaps Allah will turn to them in forgiveness. Indeed, Allah is Forgiving and Merciful."
_

I can relate to Al Fudayl.
I talk about love towards Allah, but there are times I did not manage to complete even the five daily prayers.
I marveled on how Fatimah r.a was able to stand in prayer all night, but then I was sprawled on the sofa binge watching Netflix series the whole day.

I used to be emotionally depressed about this. How can I claimed that I love the Creator when I either disobey Him or did something that I know He will be displeased. Does that mean my love for Him is fake?

But I soon discovered that, it does not mean that our love is fake. It's just because we are humans, and we succumbed to our nafs more often than not.

Take #3: Just because we did bad things, never lose hope on finding our path back to Allah

Al Fudayl knows that one day he would repent but he did not know when, or how. He just kept the intention in his heart, while continue to rob the travelers on the road.

And on one night, a verse recited by a traveler reached his ears;
"Has the time not come for those who have believed that their hearts should become humbly submissive at the remembrance of Allah and what has come down of the truth?" (Al Hadid 57:16)

By the will of Allah, the essence of the verse seeps into Al Fudayl's very being, taming his wild heart to remember the Lord in the truest form. He transformed his life 360 degrees, became one of the greatest saint of his age, living his life only for Allah's pleasure.
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Truly, I believe that only Allah is capable of turning the hearts of His creations. Despite our sins, don't let the whispers of the syaitan or the naysayers to dim the intention of returning to Allah.

As long as we protect our intention, I believe Allah would put forth His aids to open the path to Him. We might not know how long would it take. It could be be in a blink of an eye, or it could take years.

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Although I have not gone through half of the book, I believe that all the stories are heartwarming and softens our hardened heart. How can it not? It tells about the moment our soul starts to remember the promise they made to Allah long before we were created.

Thank you #AAplus team for the opportunity to share my take on this month's BOTM.
'O Changer of the Hearts! Strengthen my heart upon Your Religion.' InshaaAllah.

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